New Britain City Journal

New Britain's Weekly Online Newspaper


Keep In Touch

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My mother died July 12, 1980, and my father, March 21, 1982. I still find myself from time to time, driving for fifty minutes to the cemetery in Derby, where they are buried. I will spend perhaps as little as five minutes there, then turn around and return home. After almost twenty years what is the attraction that pulls me there? I know they are not there because I strongly believe they are in heaven, so why even go there. The answer is it helps me to keep in touch with them in a special way.

Everyone needs to be in touch with the people we love. With those who are alive, we might simply walk into the next room or pick up the telephone in order to speak with them. This privilege of having them available is almost taken for granted. How often do we think how lucky we are to have them here with us?

When a person has died, we need more than ever to be in touch. Although there are numerous ways to do this, I am only suggesting a few that have proven to be helpful.

Being a strong believer in life after death, I speak to my Mom and Dad often. There are times when I talk about problems I’m facing at work or with my family. Other times it about things happening about which I now they would enjoy hearing. Speaking with those who have died is a good way of keeping touch.

Another way is writing a letter to our loved ones. When we are separated by great distance, often we write to our family members and friends. Why should this stop now that they have died?

One might ask how do we mail it? I can think of two ways and I’m sure you can come with others. After completing the letter take it outside or place in a fireplace and set fire to it. Watch the smoke rise and take our thoughts to our loved ones.

A woman who I was counseling gave me another way. After finishing her letter, she went to a party shop. Placed her letter inside of a balloon, then filled it with helium. She released her letter into the sky and continued to watch it until she could no longer see the balloon.

Just one other suggestion on how to continue to feel a loved one’s presence. People who have heard me preach know my Mom and Dad. I speak about them often. I share with others my parents’ ideas and values. Also, when my family and I get together, it is time for Mom and Dad’s Stories. There is not a time when we do not end up laughing at our memories. It is good to know they are with us.